Vampires Suck

The \"filmmaking\" duo who continue to suck the life out of the modern spoof genre...



Twilight is the easiest thing to make fun of in the world. The film franchise has even spawned a whole culture which is ripe for witty social commentary, so whilst a parody of Twilight isn\'t exactly necessary to point out all the things that are wrong with it, there\'s an abundance of material to work with. So this begs the question, why, dear Lord, why, does Vampires Suck fail to produce a single moment of humour, intelligence or humanity for that matter? There are bad films. There are those so bad they\'re good films. Then there\'s a whole other level of bad that is an insult to society. Vampires Suck falls into the category.

Harsh words, no? Maybe. But it\'s warranted as this is more than just a bad movie that can be shrugged off into the instant $2 bin at JB Hi-Fi. It is actually creating serious problems for the cinema going crowd. That may sound a little melodramatic, and if Vampires Suck was an isolated incident of cinematic turd-ness we could move on, but writer/director/delinquent team Jason Friedberg and Aaron Seltzer have stumbled upon an apparent cash cow of parody films churning out Date Movie, Epic Movie, Meet the Spartans, Disaster Movie and now this in a few short years. Note the common theme in all films: they all suck.  Currently 3 of these 5 films sit in the IMDb list of 100 worst films of all time and the others aren\'t far off with an average score of 2/10. Now the very mention of a parody film makes people cringe with immediate thoughts going to these \'tiny budget for maximum profit\' pictures.

Essentially these films have killed the spoof genre. Whilst the genre hasn\'t exactly dominated the Academy Awards, spoof films like Spaceballs, Flying High, Blazing Saddles, and Young Frankenstein are clever, layered and hilarious. Vampires Suck, on the other hand, is just a play by play of the first two Twilight films with inserted gags that can barely be called jokes. To highlight the worst points in the film would be giving too much credit to all other parts of the film. However, the scene in which the pack of werewolves dance to \'It\'s Raining Men\' is even less funny in context (or lack thereof) than it was in the trailer, a good indication of what to expect.

There are two good points to the film. Stop the press, yes, there are two redeeming factors. One is that the film only has to be endured for 75 minutes as even the filmmakers* people who made this film became aware of their incapability to come up with ideas. The other is newcomer Jenn Proske whose impersonation of K-Stew is bang on. The problem is after the first few minutes of amused appreciation at her impression, it becomes tired as it is a joke that is relied upon and stretched over the whole film. It ends up about as amusing as that friend who does a great Julia Gillard impression, but just isn\'t as funny when you ask them to do it again.

To sum up, the obvious comparison between the title and quality of the film is one that cannot be passed up: Vampires Suck does exactly what it promises. It sucks.

*Calling them filmmakers is an insult to filmmakers. Scorsese, Kubrick, Tarantino etc. don\'t deserve to be lumped into the same category.



A&D 26 Aug 2010 21:41

I was going to go see this for laughs (even tho trailer looks horrendous) but have now sided against it. Thanks!!!

Josh 26 Aug 2010 22:58

Thankyou A&D!
This makes me feel victorious if I\'ve turned someone against it!

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